The Gift of Knowing
I have been blessed to have somehow “remembered” my own power in my life. I witness women everywhere who seem to hold the truth that they “can’t” that they have so many limitations.
At the age of 19 I began a visual merchandising business employing 5 others. I was excited with my financial success and the experience of what I could create. Some innate part of me realized that I could create whatever I intended. I often told the women whom I employed that they should go ahead and get their own accounts and I could never understand why they felt they couldn’t. However, I began to identify with what I did rather than who I was.
At the age of 40 I became disillusioned with my work because I realized what was happening to our planet and my work was just contributing to consumption. During this time I was also experiencing the trauma of a self imposed divorce and the challenge of raising my two boys alone.
I returned to college to become a marine biologist hoping I would somehow learn a way to be of service to our planet but also found myself enraptured with courses in Anthropology. I volunteered in a lab at Scripps Institution of Oceanography and within 6 months was offered a job there. I loved the work and was able to experience the bottom of the sea in the Alvin as we studied the hydrothermal vents.
Still I felt emptiness inside as my spirit wasn’t being nurtured. I began to go to ceremonies of the Huichol people of Mexico. With no running water or amenities that we take for granted in Western Culture, I had never seen a people so joyful. They live as one with Mother Earth. It was the absolute “oneness” knowing that hadn’t yet reared its glorious face for me to experience. Suddenly my heart began to speak instead of my mind. I became enraptured with the idea of starting a non-profit organization dedicated to the conservation of indigenous cultures and their wisdom.
I left the field of science and began hosting indigenous teachers from around the planet. I have seen remarkable cases of healing in my people both spiritual and physical through this work. It is about the “knowing” we are not alone, we are interconnected with all that is. Our intentions are powerful beyond measure and we can manifest miracles by understanding these connections, not with our minds but with our hearts.
Today I live in the wilderness of Colorado where I am able to host elders, and offer programs of initiations and sweat lodges to the public. A stillness and grace has set in as I watch others begin to experience the beauty that is within and around us. They are able to see what truly matters. I realize that all my past experiences have led me to this path and I am filled with gratitude. When we know this oneness fear and anxiety are defeated.